This has been stewing for a few weeks.... which is a good thing, time seems to create an opportunity to take some of the sting out of my first words and gives me time to give them more power in communicating their purpose, for it is not my purpose to hurt.... but rather improve understanding and less hurt.
I know a little cryptic :) So I will get to my point.
Rumors, gossip and backstabbing... the funny thing about all of that is it more often than not eventually finds the ears of the subject .So I have come to the point where I feel the need to defend myself... and instead of untruths and ugliness I hope to spread truth.
Truth I AM sick and I am not and can NOT be sorry for that. I did nothing to be sorry for.
I did not do something terrible to be sick.
I am not being punished.
I am not making this up, and I do not want your pity.
BUT all my words of truth will not convince those who do not know me.
I WILL BE HAPPY and live the best life I can, and I am not sorry about that either.
If I am "to happy" for you to believe I am ill, than I guess I will take that as a compliment although I am human and it does sting.
I am not looking for attention I actually rather enjoy avoiding extra attention if possible.
I am strong, I can do this with or with out those who are historically looked to be supportive in situations like these.
I am a good person.
I am a good mom.
I am a good wife.
I am a good friend.
I am not perfect.
I, like most of you have a very small circle of people...great, amazing people in my life that I allow to see me, all of me. I am not going to go out on my worst days... do you? I am not going to be anything but myself... my best self I can be... and if that makes it difficult to see my weakness GOOD! If my smile and laughter make it hard to see my pain.... GOOD! I am more than those things. I can not deny or apologize for my life. I am blessed... I love my life ( I would alter a few things if I could, but wouldn't we all)
Life lesson...
If you really want to get to know someone...it requires some time to "get to know" them.
What does it say about you if you only want facts about someone to have the power to tell others?
No amount of proof in the world can convince someone who does not want to see truth.
And one of my favorites, shared by a loving grandmother to my 7 year old self. "If you never want to get caught in a lie, it is as simple as always telling the truth."
and one more.... for the road ;)
Those with whom you you gossip, are more often than not the ones who gossip about you.
I can not live a perfect life..
But I will live a beautiful one ♥
